exhaustion

She sighed, as if in realization that this was life's inexorable course. Nothing said, no vain promises whispered in wishful fits of dreaming would change the fact that this was all she had to look forward to in this life.
A struggle, a minimum wage job that relied not on her creative abilities, or her schooling; but on the sheer strength of her willpower and the sturdy relaibility of her body.
She had told herself time and time again that this was only temporay, but the bitter truth is that no one will hire you if you are already employed. Its not fair to the others in this life.
So each and every thankless day, when the alarm went off at four forty am. She pulled herself out of her husband's sleeping embrace to prepare for another day where colors where muted with greys and overexposed by floruesant lighting. Yes, she sighed, this is what I have come to expect. Forget the trips to the shore, I am too busy trying to make enough to make ends meet. Forget exploring the vinyards and art musuems of european countrys. I can barely spring for and eight dollar bottle of wine. This is what I am, I girl, or am I a woman? who tries her best to rely on His grace, but in her human failings finds that she is wishing for a higher calling. Patiance is best left to those who have not had a taste of what could be.
Or is it. Because in all my vain and desperate longings, it is almost a jewel in a place where the height of sophistication is left to those who trash talk the gay community the best, who has the biggest phallus and who has the most tricked out car, which is no one. They all drive shit cars that were mass produced on an assembly line much like the one where thier brains were probably also manufactured. Basic model, nothing fancey. Make me blue collar?
Never.