hohum

So lately my life has seemed life it is on fast forward. I get up in the morning at 4:30 and get ready for work and i am there at 5:20... I work ten hours then punch out at 4pm and head home, or do shopping, or meet friends then head home, make dinner, maybe watch a show on hulu, get ready for the next day. go to sleep and do it all over again..... my creativity has hit nil. my personailty is being leached from my soul. I am being atenithized towartds lifes beauty. My daily thrills include tuning out my idiot coworkers racist, sexual, biased, ignorance. Their idea of something witty includes a punchline that centers around anal sex. i kid you not. My place of employment really just ignores this, their claim is that unless somebody reports it, they really can do nothing about it. So, I endure it, mainly because they dare not to slant it my way because I have reported someone before, and secondly because I really dont like being the snitch bitch.
So I decided that a change was in order, cutting back my hours(or rather losing my overtime), training to do something equally soul numbing, but different and new nonetheless, at work. Three days off, four days on. Setting aside time to do work on my illustration freelance job.
So yes, this is what my life has become, a total, grownup, worring about making ends meet time sucker. I didnt know that when you decide to become an adult, with all of it responibilties you trade things. Freedom for time. thats the way it is though. I took a semester off to do things and now i am saddled with the realization that, oh crap, i need to work to keep my house warm, to keep the lights on, to keep food in my fridge. but thats life i guess, it is pretty cool to be on my own though. I really do like it. My parents were pretty strict and I didnt reallly do that much when I was younger, I never really went anywhere because, well, I was homeschooled, and most all activities that I was involved in were limited to Awanas, homeschool stuff, and umm church. So yeah, I never really got to go spend afternoons perusing books at Barnes and Nobles. Staying out late with friends, I am twenty and I will admit that I have never been to a party. no emily, i dont think your birthday party counted cause i had to go to work the next day reallllly early and i had to drive home, so i couldnt really drink, like, anything... I am proud to say that I have never done drugs(why would I, i have a hard enopugh time in school as it is, why would I want to screw that up?) I have never gotten drunk, like never, the closest i have is drinking two glasses of red wine and feeling it a little and waking up the next day with a buzzy dry headache... if that doeant quailfy me as a goody two shoes, i dont know what does. I suppose I was born with a level head, but thats not really true either, because I take too many risks and I have made some stupid choices. I dont know what my deal is, I am just who I am, my only difference is that I am saved by Grace and I serve a greater purpose, other than that, I dont think I am anything special, I am jsut a girl that works all the time and worries about making ends meet and tries to express herself through artistic endevours...